I’m no fashion god. I’ve been publicly humiliated on Twitter for posting a photo of myself with the caption “On my Ye” in what I thought was a stylish outfit, and my roommate Tim has the nerve to tell me my haircut sucks (his is actually a lot worse). That being said, I might not be the best person to ridicule some teams fashion senses, but my list of the worst jerseys I can think of was an easy one to come up with. Sure, some of these are alternate jerseys and alternate jerseys are typically the questionable ones, but regardless, these five made my list because they made me stop and think “Who the fuck thought this would be ok?” And I know there’s a lot worse jerseys out there, but I don’t spend my time researching things like this, these are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head.
5. Kansas City Royals 2002-2005
Cutoffs are only cool when they’ve got a Superman logo on them and you’re wearing it in line to get an airbrushed trucker hat at the fair. The last place I like to see cutoffs is on the baseball field. Was the budget especially low that year that the Royals could only
come up with 3/4 of a uniform? The only saving grace for this mess would be to pair it with anything but a black undershirt, but of course, they paired it with a fucking black undershirt.
4. Sacramento Kings 1994-1997
What was the goal here? My best guess is a two dudes were in a meeting designing the
Kings’ uniforms and one wanted a purple jersey and the other wanted black. This is a prime example of the pussification of America because instead of there being a winner and a loser, the two dudes had to compromise and the outcome was this shit shit show of a jersey.
3. Detroit Pistons 1995-2001
It’s a damn good thing this jersey came after the Bad Boy era because it would singlehandedly take away everything that name stood for. The only “bad” thing about this jersey is everything. There’s nothing appealing about a logo that looks like it came off a Hot Wheels car on a teal background. Teal is a color that should be reserved for teams in warm climates, not the barren wasteland that is Detroit.
2. Nashville Predators 2001-2007
Thank God for Carrie Underwood’s husband that the Predators don’t wear these anymore. No way someone as hot as her would ever be banging a dude wearing this thing. It’s been confirmed Hitler’s favorite color was the mustard yellow they used on this jersey and the saber-toothed cat in the center leads me to believe crystal meth abuse is what put these animals into extinction
1. Vancouver Canucks 1978-1985
How in the fuck did these last so long? I wouldn’t let this atrocity leave my head let alone let my team wear it. All this jersey is a big ass yellow and red “V.” No logo, no nothing, just one sad looking “V.” This jersey is a disgrace to Vancouver, to British Columbia, to Canada, to fucking North America. This is the worst thing to happen to Canada since Drake got shot and put in a wheelchair.